Guess whose back? Do you remember when rappers always used to ask that at the beginning of their songs? Anyhoo, it has been a long time. In the past I have compared shorter absences and the expectation of my return to the long expected Chinese Democracy. Perhaps it has just been too long and my return will go as unnoticed as that album was upon finally being released.
Anyway, it has been a while. I have been licking some wounds and trying to recuperate from some horrific experiences. I have been questioning a lot lately. Big picture questions. What does it all mean? What am I doing here? Where am I going? After having a close friend of 15 years question whether or not I am a Christian based on his discovery that I tend to vote democrat and don’t hold to modernists descriptions of scripture (namely inerrancy), I have to admit, I thought for more than a moment that maybe he is right. Maybe I just don’t belong. I’ve always felt too conservative for my self described liberal Christian friends and too liberal for my conservative Christian friends. So, “Maybe…” I thought “maybe he is right. Maybe Jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam after all.” This led to some painful questioning about what the hell I am doing at seminary. Which my friend suggested I do because he was worried I might lead people astray, possibly even to hell because I don’t believe in a flat earth, that the mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds and I voted for a “Marxist baby killer.”
It sounds like I am bitter. I really don’t mean to be. But perhaps I am. But I am on the mend. Perhaps to the consternation of my friend, I am still a Christian and at least in my own estimate a fairly conservative orthodox one at that. The story of the life death and resurrection of Christ is the only thing I have found that provides hope in this crazy world we live in, the hope that the resurrection is the first fruits of all things being restored, recapitulated in Christ. And the church – the bride, the sign and sacrament to the world that God is restoring the world – is sort of a package deal with Jesus. So yes, I am still in seminary trying to learn and discern how I can apply this experience to better serve Christ, the church and the world.
In the coming days I am going to try really hard to write regularly on here. Until then, goodnight and good luck.
Shalom,
Wayne
